I would like to tell all of you about a resident that I cared for named "George". He was an amazing man.
George played football for the NFL for years. Due to Traumatic Brain Injury, his cognitive function had declined markedly when he came to us. He was still able to walk, could feed himself, and was continent. He had a tendency to wander though, so he was placed on the locked unit. He could speak, though his cognition and responses were slowed. He had an excellent sense of humor.
He arrived at the facility during my 3rd shift there. He appeared very tense, and his (very large) size made him seem intimidating to me-I only weighed 105 lbs at the time! I was assigned to care for him, so after his family said a short good-bye, I asked him if he wanted me to show him his room-big mistake! He said, "No thank you, I'd like to go home." So I asked him if he wanted anything to eat or drink. He did, so we walked to the kitchen/dining area. I didn't know what he liked, so I invited him to look through the cupboards and fridge. He didn't like what he saw, so I asked him what he was hungry for. He wanted a grilled ham and Swiss sandwich and chocolate milk. Okay, so I went to the main kitchen and got the ingredients. We had an electric skillet on the unit, so I proceeded to make his sandwich. Well, I don't know how many of you have cared for people with dementia related illness, but grill a sandwich and they come running! It was about 8 at night, and they ate dinner at 4:30, so most of them were hungry! I was hurriedly passing out banana halves to tide people over until the sandwiches were done when my unit manager walked into the dining room. She asked me what I was doing. I was worried that I would get into trouble, but I told her that George wanted a sandwich and the other residents were hungry too. She asked me who told me to feed them. Now I was really worried. I answered that nobody did, but most of them appeared thin, and I thought a snack would help them feel comfortable enough to sleep. She smiled and asked me to see her before I left the next morning(7-7 shift). Great, I thought, my 3rd shift and I'm already in trouble. Anyway, while they all ate I turned on an Andy Griffith DVD. They all sat and watched it and ate their sandwiches and fruit and milk, along with some cucumbers that I sliced thin. Everyone was ready for bed by 8:30 or 9. There were two other girls that were mad because they usually had their people in bed and asleep by then, then they would talk or use their cellphones until 10:30 when they did last rounds before leaving at 11:00. Unless one of their residents was restless or combative, which was a daily problem. Well, that night, everyone was really calm. Everyone slept, and throughout the night, I did my rounds, scared to death that I broke protocols and was losing my job.
Well, I finished up, gave report, and went to see my boss.
Turns out, she wasn't mad at all, just surprised that I did that on my own! Some of the girls did just the bare minimum. She had been trying without much success to implement bedtime snacks, so she asked me to do that first thing, and the girl that worked my spot when I was off took that on too.
Well, this is super long, but I tell you all this to explain how much I learned from George that first night he was there, and how inexperienced I was in caring for that population. That night George was scared and felt alone, and it broke my heart. I couldn't fix that, but I could make him a snack, and that was the lesson. I couldn't fix any of those people, but I learned that a well timed snack, a song sung at bedtime or in the morning, holding a hand, or just walking with an anxious person made such a difference in their day. They were able to calm down, and get the sleep and rest, at night, when they needed to be sleeping for the best mental state. I learned much about human nature when I worked there. I honestly would have done it for free if I didn't need the paycheck so much.
Someday I would like to be able to set up a small care home for people with dementia, where they could be safe and happy. And where they could eat real food, not the slop that is served in some facilities. We could have a garden, and maybe some chickens, both for eggs and for therapy :-) I truly think that small, home like situations are so much better for a person that has memory issues. The calm atmosphere of a regular day at home, with the normal routines, has to be better in terms of anxiety and failure to thrive. I am so glad that I have a place here to share thoughts like these with all of you.
