Do you want to be a Millionaire
Oct 20, 2018 17:37:08 GMT
themotherhen, joebill, and 1 more like this
Post by bretf on Oct 20, 2018 17:37:08 GMT
Do you Want to be a Millionaire
“Hey Lee, you want to be a millionaire?”
“Huh, what?” Lee Evans asked, toggling his screen from a survivalist website back to a work document. Billy smirked, obviously seeing the move.
“Yeah man,” Billy Johnson stated. “Mega millions is up to seven hundred and eighty million. We’re getting a pool together and putting in for it.”
Lee inwardly groaned. Of course he wanted to be a millionaire, but winning one of the huge jackpots, well any real lottery winnings was a fool’s way to do it. The odds didn’t stack up.
“What about Jack?” Lee asked about the owner of the company.
“Heck yeah, man,” Billy said and held his envelope for Lee to see. Names were written on the front and it bulged with the cash it held. “He’s second on the list. He wants out of here as much as the rest of us.”
Lee had the silent argument with himself every time the guys made an office pool. It was a waste of money. But what if it really happened, and he was the only one who hadn’t played. The company would shut down, and other employment prospects were few for a guy in his field. He was too dang specialized, and he sure as hell wasn’t going back to flipping burgers again.
“So if we get thirty lines,” Billy continued, “We’ll all take home about fifteen million after taxes. Well unless you want to buy two shares. A Few of us are, so we can have more chances to win, but you’ve gotta pay to play.”
Lee groaned out loud, and reached for his money clip. “All right. I’ll take a line. It’s two bucks isn’t it?”
“Yep.”
Lee peeled off two dollars and handed them over. Billy stuffed the bills into the envelope and wrote Lee’s name on it with the other contributors. “Just think man, fifteen million. What are you going to do with your share?” Billy asked.
“I really don’t know. It seems like such a long-shot, I don’t think too hard on it,” Lee said.
“Well I sure have. Man, I’m going to golf anywhere, anytime I want. Pebble Beach, Scotland, wherever there’s a course,” Billy said.
“What’s your wife think of that idea?” Lee asked.
“Crap man, she won’t care. There’ll be shopping and spas and salons everywhere she can hit while I’m on the course.” Billy’s eyes glazed over for a moment and he smiled. “But it’ll be great, man. You know there’re a couple of courses where they have topless co-eds for caddies. Man, I think I’ll play those ones every week.”
“Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out,” Lee said.
“Yeah man, it’s going to be great!” Billy said.
“Okay, I need to get back to work,” Lee said.
“Yeah, work,” Billy said with a smirk.
At least Billy took the hint and moved on to rope in the next sucker.
Lee stared at his blank computer screen, it’d timed out while they’d talked. Yeah work. Why should I be the only one working today, because I know nobody else will. Behind him he could hear other guys spending money like crazy.
“I’m going to get a new place with a huge garage, one that’ll hold about fifteen cars. I’m going to get a corvette and . . .”
“I’m getting a ranch, not too big, just enough for oh, four of five hired guys to take care of. But it has to have a helipad. I always wanted to learn to fly on of those and . . .”
“I’m building my own racetrack . . .”
“I’m going on every cruise available and see the entire world. I won’t even have a house anymore. I’ll just go from one ship to another . . .”
“I’m going to have a house, well four actually. I’m so sick of winter, I’ll have a couple on each side of the equator. One in the north and one south will be on the beach . . .”
“I’m giving mine to charity.”
Lee noted the stunned silence behind him.
“Well a few thousand anyway,” the guy added with a laugh.
“Hey Lee,” one of them said in a louder voice. “Are you going to buy a can factory?”
“What?” Lee asked.
“Yeah, you’re just going to bury all of yours in coffee cans aren’t you, since you don’t trust the financial system.”
“Good idea,” Lee said flatly. “I’ll have to figure out how many I need to stuff that much cash into.”
He wished he’d never said a word to any of them. It was true, he didn’t trust financial institutions and the direction the world was moving. It was all a house of cards and it would come tumbling down someday. He hoped to be clear of it when it happened. Over the past couple of years, he hadn’t been too preachy, but made passing comments to his colleagues. Maybe they’d pull their heads out of the clouds and take a real look at events. But the words were wasted and he was branded as a nutcase.
Whatever. He’d be away from the turmoil while the world tumbled around them while they had their collective thumbs up their . . . oh, to hell with them.
Lee tuned the idiots out. Oh, if only they knew. He jiggled his mouse to wake his computer and toggled back to the internet. In his favorites, he clicked on Mountain Realty. The website popped up with a row of listings on the right side of the screen. He scrolled down, stopped on a listing and smiled as he clicked on it and it loaded.
It’s still here, he said to himself. I just wish they wouldn’t have described it like they did, even if it’s true.
The listing was for “The Ultimate Survivalist Compound”. Yes, the man who designed and built it was a quasi-survivalist, but not a real one. He ran his mouth off too much and gained fame and notoriety running a weekly webcast. And of course the government, in their never ending effort to quash the truth went after him. They couldn’t allow criticism that hit too close to home.
Rather than the FBI, they sent the IRS after him. Hey, it worked for Al Capone, it’ll work for this hillbilly too, they reasoned. And of course they were right. Unlike police detectives, the treasury department wasn’t hampered by the need for probable cause, search warrants, and who knows what else. They put the rogue under a microscope and found enough to convict and shut him up.
But as always, one man’s misfortune is another man’s gain. Lee wanted to be that man. But it was as outlandish dream unless the miracle panned out for the office. If it did, he wouldn’t buy coffee cans, he’d be gone in a day, never to be seen or heard of by the office idiots again.
#
Lee was at his desk the next morning when Billy walked in, red-eyed and his voice slurring. “Holy Crap Lee, what are you doing man?” he shouted.
“Uhh, working. Remember, that’s what we do here,” Lee said. At least he would get to work in ten or twenty minutes. He wasn’t the first to the office each day, but he tried to arrive early so he could check out a couple of blogs before too many people were hanging around to see what he was reading.
“Man, we don’t have to work! We can call in RICH, FOREVER! WE FRICKEN WON, MAN!”
Lee stared, not daring to believe it. He wouldn’t put it past Billy to mess with him. “Yeah, it’s seems to me we’ve won before, three whole bucks a couple of times.”
Two other guys showed up at that moment, and one shouted, “WE DID IT DUDES! WE HIT THE BIG ONE!” They met Billy and they all embraced and shouted something Lee couldn’t understand.
He was too entranced as he looked at his computer monitor to make sense of their shouts. Always leery of any news, he was online, staring at the winning numbers and his copy of the numbers Billy had given him the previous afternoon. It appeared Billy wasn’t jerking his chain after all. They really had won. The numerical evidence was in his left hand, the third line down. ALL THE NUMBERS MATCH. OH GOD, THEY MATCH, WE WON THE STINKING JACKPOT.
Lee had no idea how long he stared at the monitor before he was able to move. And breath normally. When he could function, he opened the realty page and printed the home page with the contact information and the page with his new home’s listing. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and had three numbers punched in before he stopped to think. He didn’t want to make such an important call where those idiots might hear him, and he didn’t want to do it on a trackable phone.
Lee stared at the device pondering, then powered it down and pocketed it. After logging out of the internet he stood and grabbed his jacket.
“Hey man,” Billy said. “Don’t go running off to the lottery office without us. We’re all going together.”
“I’m not. I’ve just gotta go pick something up,” Lee said.
Billy grinned at him and asked, “What, a couple of cans of coffee? I’ve got news for you man, you’re gonna need a lot more than you can carry.”
Lee grinned back. He couldn’t help himself, even though he knew he was grinning like an idiot; like all the office idiots. “Maybe I’m getting a big enough truck to load all the coffee cans in,” he said.
“Hey, now you’re talking man. Four-wheel drive, with all the bells and whistles, right?” Billy asked.
“You’re pretty close,” Lee said, and hurried out the door with the papers clutched tightly.
The 24-hour drug store was close enough he thought he could’ve floated there, but he got in his older, four-wheel drive truck instead. No, he didn’t need a new truck. He’d put too much into getting his put together as a bug out vehicle. It’d had a long list of improvements done which had used up all his disposable income for two years before he had everything just right. There was no way he’d replace it. But who knew, he might get a second vehicle once he was settled.
He swerved around a slow car and nearly ran a red light on the way to the store, but he miraculously arrived unscathed and hurried inside. He made his purchases and hurried back to his truck. With a shaking hand, he used a Sharpie marker to write on the first pre-paid phone he took out of the bag. “Mountain Realty”.
His hand shook even more as he punched in the numbers to the real estate company.
Several minutes later he ended the call and laid his head back. It was done. He’d just committed to the asking price on his dream home. The next call he made with the new burner phone would be to talk routing numbers for two point seven million dollars. It was a huge, unimaginable sum, but as the listing stated, it was the ultimate survivalist compound. One hundred sixty acres nestled away against the National Forest, and a house build to hold up against anything short of a tank.
“Okay, what now?” he asked the empty pickup. When it came to him, he pulled out his personal phone and powered it back up. The dang thing had made it so he didn’t know anyone’s phone numbers anymore. He’d have to get them all written down once he was back at his desk. He scrolled through the names and stopped on one, and punched the numbers into his second burner phone.
The phone rang and went to voice mail. Of course, JB wouldn’t answer an unknown number. Lee left a message for JB to call as soon as he could. It was very important. While he waited for JB to call back, he labeled the phone with the pen.
“Hey dude, sorry I didn’t pick up, but you know with all the spammers out there, I don’t answer any number I don’t recognize,” JB said in greeting.
“Yeah, I know. So I’ve got a favor to ask you buddy, a pretty big favor you’ll be richly compensated for,” Lee said.
“What the hell you talking about? Richly compensated? Dude, you don’t usually have two nickels to rub together with all the prepper stuff you buy,” JB said.
“I know, but I just came into some money,” Lee said.
“What’d you do, knock off an armored truck or something?” JB asked.
“I’ll tell you about it later. I need to bunk with you tonight anyway,” Lee said.
JB didn’t answer right away. When he did, he said, “What the hell did you do dude? New phone, money, don’t want to go home. Did you steal something and someone is looking for you to bust your kneecaps? Or worse?”
“No JB, it’s nothing like that. It’s totally legit. I’ll explain it all later, in person. I don’t want to say too much over the phone. You know these calls are picked up and listened too. But no JB, nobody wants to hurt me, but as soon as a certain story hits the news, people will be crawling out of the woodwork looking for me.”
“I don’t like the sound of this dude,” JB said. “But as the story goes, the guy baling you out might be a good friend, but the one in the cell with you is a better friend. So what do you want me to do?”
“I’m going to have some things shipped in that’ll need signed for and I don’t want it going to my place. I want to ship it all to you and I’ll get it from there,” Lee said.
JB was silent for a long time until Lee asked, “Are you still there?”
“Yeah, I’m here. Tell me one thing, is it drugs?”
“JB, are you kidding me? You know I don’t do drugs. My drug of choice is burning gunpowder with an occasional shot of bourbon. No, I’m going to order some guns and ammo and other preps. I just can’t have them delivered to my place,” Lee said.
“So this is all legit?”
“Damn straight. Tell you what, watch the noon news today. I’ll be shocked if the story I’m expecting isn’t the lead in. Watch it and you’ll understand. And remember, I take care of my real friends. But I’ve got to run. I’ll talk to later, just don’t make me leave a message next time,” Lee said.
“Okay dude, and don’t make me regret it and open the door to a swat team.”
“No worries, later JB,” Lee said and ended the call.
The gears were turning in his head as he drove back to the office. Get the contacts written down. Order that Barrett 50 I’ve been drooling over and . . . By the time his was finished, his mental list included eighteen guns and several thousand rounds of ammunition. It also included printing his lists off once he was back at his desk. He’d need to order food, medical supplies, tools, and the list went on and on as he drove.
Lee sat at his desk in a frenzy as the rest of the crew partied around him. Well, all the crew but Clay. He was even more of an enigma than Lee to the rest of the crew. It looked like he was actually working on a project Jack had committed to having complete that day. What a weirdo.
Someone had brought in bottles of champagne and a couple of the guys were tipsy. “Here Lee, have some,” Billy said, looking over his shoulder and holding the plastic cup out for him. “Whoa, that’s some rifle,” Billy said.
“Do you mind?” Lee asked taking the champagne.
“Just curious man, but that looks like a serious rifle. I think I’ll get one too. What is it?” Billy slurred.
“Tell you what, I’ll print it out for you,” Lee said.
The printer whirred to life and thankfully Billy went to get the paper. He carried it to the group of revelers and held it out. “Hey guys, check out the rifle I’m going to get.”
Lee tried to ignore the group as he placed orders, draining his bank account and maxing out his credit card. Unfortunately, he didn’t have enough for the Barrett or many other things on his list. But he made a paper list as well as a thumb drive file with all the sites he would go onto after he got his money.
His money!
He was a millionaire and would soon disappear. He wondered if Donna would disappear with him. She’d made it pretty clear she wouldn’t, but he was poor then. Would somewhere around seventeen million reasons change her mind? If it wouldn’t, maybe the girl who worked at the gun club would go with him.
“Lee, come on man, we’re going,” Billy called.
“Huh, oh yeah, give me a minute,” Lee said. He stuffed all his papers in his day pack, pocketed his thumb drive, and threw his cell phone in the bottom drawer of his desk.
While he finished up, he noticed Jack was literally forcing Clay to quit working and join them. His bit of respect for the man was diminishing, and he shook he head at the man and echoed what most of the crew called him. “Weirdo.”
Lee pulled on his jacket, chugged the rest of his champagne and joined all his co-workers he’d never see again after he had his check in hand.
#
Lee held up a photo copy of the check he’d taken to the bank for JB to see. “You ever imagined so many numbers on a check?” he asked in greeting when JB answered the door.
“Dude, I can’t believe it!” JB said and pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. “But there you were on TV with a bigger smile than when you hooked up with Laura our junior year.”
“Yeah, it’s incredible. I had to read those numbers over and over before I really believed it. So I wonder, do you have any idea what Laura’s up to now? I haven’t seen her for quite a few years, but maybe she’d like to hook up again now that I’m rich.”
“Ha, forget it dude. For one thing, she’s been pissed since you knocked up her best friend. Besides, she married some farmer guy, Clay I think his name is. She’s got two kids, and I swear, I’ve never seen anyone happier when I saw her last. If you and Donna are really over, I think you might have to hit up that Russian mail order bride site to find the love of your life,” JB said. He poured two glasses of Crown Royal over ice and handed one to Lee. “So what are your plans dude?”
Lee leaned back in the couch and said, “I’m flying to Montana tomorrow. I’ve had my eye on a place there and I’m going to buy it. I’d take you along, but I need you to stay here and sign for my shipments. After I get the main place, I’ll get a smaller one around Bozeman where I can have everything shipped to. After that, do you want to move to Montana?”
JB puzzled over it and said, “Wow dude, I don’t know. Doesn’t it get damn cold in the winter?”
Lee laughed and said, “Not if we mail order two brides.”
JB laughed with him and held his glass up in an “air clink” and took another drink. He got serious and asked, “So seriously dude, what about Donna? And Leeann.”
A dark cloud passed over Lee’s face. “I don’t know. Do you think if I give her half a mill, it’ll keep her off my back?”
“It’s hard to tell dude. Have you kept up child support after the divorce was finalized?” JB asked.
“I’ve only been late a few times, and uhm, well, the divorce isn’t quite final. I don’t know JB, I kind of hoped we might work it out. Shoot, maybe she’ll change her mind and go to Montana with us,” Lee said.
JB kept his thoughts to himself on the matter. Donna had confided to him that even though she loved Lee, he’d gone off the deep end with the survivalist stuff. His obsession had scared her. She was more than happy in suburbia and wanted Leeann to grow up around other kids, not off in some remote mountain fortress where she might see other kids once or twice a year.
“So,” JB said, “How long do you think this Montana trip will take? And what are your plans when it’s all wrapped up?”
“I need to finalize some things here, rent a truck and load everything up, and head out. And well, I guess I need to talk to Donna. If she won’t come with me, maybe I can give her an even million and she won’t bother me for anything else.” Lee drained his glass, refilled it and held the bottle out to refill JB’s as well.
“So can I use your computer JB? I still want to get a bunch of order placed. I ran out of money before I could get anywhere on my list,” Lee said.
“I wish you could dude, but I got hit by one of those ransomware scams. I haven’t been able to use it for a week now, and I’ll be damned if I’ll pay them. I’ve used the library computer to pay bills since then. We can go there,” JB said.
Lee took a big swig while he pondered the idea. “Naw, let’s go to Best Buy. I’m going to need a good laptop with a satellite link anyway.” He emptied his glass in a long swallow and stood and pulled his jacket on.
They climbed into Lee’s truck and headed for the store. The first few blocks, Lee drove only a few miles over the speed limit. “Check it out,” he said, and cranked the radio up. “The perfect song JB, just perfect. As he sang along, the truck’s speed increased and Lee rocked his head back and forth. It was the perfect song.
“It’s the end of the world as we know it.”
He closed his eyes, missing the lowering crossing bar before the railroad tracks.
“LEE, STOP DUDE!”
“It’s the end of the world as we know it.”
Lee cranked the radio louder to drown out JB.
“LEE!”
The train whistled, not letting off and the engineer hit the brakes.
“It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.”
The whistle and loud music were replaced by a thunderous crash and screaming metal.
#
The funeral was small, but lavish, with no expenses spared. A photograph of the “Ultimate Survival Retreat” rested on the closed casket.
Read more: pawfiction.proboards.com/thread/968/millionaire#ixzz5UUehyLxH
“Hey Lee, you want to be a millionaire?”
“Huh, what?” Lee Evans asked, toggling his screen from a survivalist website back to a work document. Billy smirked, obviously seeing the move.
“Yeah man,” Billy Johnson stated. “Mega millions is up to seven hundred and eighty million. We’re getting a pool together and putting in for it.”
Lee inwardly groaned. Of course he wanted to be a millionaire, but winning one of the huge jackpots, well any real lottery winnings was a fool’s way to do it. The odds didn’t stack up.
“What about Jack?” Lee asked about the owner of the company.
“Heck yeah, man,” Billy said and held his envelope for Lee to see. Names were written on the front and it bulged with the cash it held. “He’s second on the list. He wants out of here as much as the rest of us.”
Lee had the silent argument with himself every time the guys made an office pool. It was a waste of money. But what if it really happened, and he was the only one who hadn’t played. The company would shut down, and other employment prospects were few for a guy in his field. He was too dang specialized, and he sure as hell wasn’t going back to flipping burgers again.
“So if we get thirty lines,” Billy continued, “We’ll all take home about fifteen million after taxes. Well unless you want to buy two shares. A Few of us are, so we can have more chances to win, but you’ve gotta pay to play.”
Lee groaned out loud, and reached for his money clip. “All right. I’ll take a line. It’s two bucks isn’t it?”
“Yep.”
Lee peeled off two dollars and handed them over. Billy stuffed the bills into the envelope and wrote Lee’s name on it with the other contributors. “Just think man, fifteen million. What are you going to do with your share?” Billy asked.
“I really don’t know. It seems like such a long-shot, I don’t think too hard on it,” Lee said.
“Well I sure have. Man, I’m going to golf anywhere, anytime I want. Pebble Beach, Scotland, wherever there’s a course,” Billy said.
“What’s your wife think of that idea?” Lee asked.
“Crap man, she won’t care. There’ll be shopping and spas and salons everywhere she can hit while I’m on the course.” Billy’s eyes glazed over for a moment and he smiled. “But it’ll be great, man. You know there’re a couple of courses where they have topless co-eds for caddies. Man, I think I’ll play those ones every week.”
“Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out,” Lee said.
“Yeah man, it’s going to be great!” Billy said.
“Okay, I need to get back to work,” Lee said.
“Yeah, work,” Billy said with a smirk.
At least Billy took the hint and moved on to rope in the next sucker.
Lee stared at his blank computer screen, it’d timed out while they’d talked. Yeah work. Why should I be the only one working today, because I know nobody else will. Behind him he could hear other guys spending money like crazy.
“I’m going to get a new place with a huge garage, one that’ll hold about fifteen cars. I’m going to get a corvette and . . .”
“I’m getting a ranch, not too big, just enough for oh, four of five hired guys to take care of. But it has to have a helipad. I always wanted to learn to fly on of those and . . .”
“I’m building my own racetrack . . .”
“I’m going on every cruise available and see the entire world. I won’t even have a house anymore. I’ll just go from one ship to another . . .”
“I’m going to have a house, well four actually. I’m so sick of winter, I’ll have a couple on each side of the equator. One in the north and one south will be on the beach . . .”
“I’m giving mine to charity.”
Lee noted the stunned silence behind him.
“Well a few thousand anyway,” the guy added with a laugh.
“Hey Lee,” one of them said in a louder voice. “Are you going to buy a can factory?”
“What?” Lee asked.
“Yeah, you’re just going to bury all of yours in coffee cans aren’t you, since you don’t trust the financial system.”
“Good idea,” Lee said flatly. “I’ll have to figure out how many I need to stuff that much cash into.”
He wished he’d never said a word to any of them. It was true, he didn’t trust financial institutions and the direction the world was moving. It was all a house of cards and it would come tumbling down someday. He hoped to be clear of it when it happened. Over the past couple of years, he hadn’t been too preachy, but made passing comments to his colleagues. Maybe they’d pull their heads out of the clouds and take a real look at events. But the words were wasted and he was branded as a nutcase.
Whatever. He’d be away from the turmoil while the world tumbled around them while they had their collective thumbs up their . . . oh, to hell with them.
Lee tuned the idiots out. Oh, if only they knew. He jiggled his mouse to wake his computer and toggled back to the internet. In his favorites, he clicked on Mountain Realty. The website popped up with a row of listings on the right side of the screen. He scrolled down, stopped on a listing and smiled as he clicked on it and it loaded.
It’s still here, he said to himself. I just wish they wouldn’t have described it like they did, even if it’s true.
The listing was for “The Ultimate Survivalist Compound”. Yes, the man who designed and built it was a quasi-survivalist, but not a real one. He ran his mouth off too much and gained fame and notoriety running a weekly webcast. And of course the government, in their never ending effort to quash the truth went after him. They couldn’t allow criticism that hit too close to home.
Rather than the FBI, they sent the IRS after him. Hey, it worked for Al Capone, it’ll work for this hillbilly too, they reasoned. And of course they were right. Unlike police detectives, the treasury department wasn’t hampered by the need for probable cause, search warrants, and who knows what else. They put the rogue under a microscope and found enough to convict and shut him up.
But as always, one man’s misfortune is another man’s gain. Lee wanted to be that man. But it was as outlandish dream unless the miracle panned out for the office. If it did, he wouldn’t buy coffee cans, he’d be gone in a day, never to be seen or heard of by the office idiots again.
#
Lee was at his desk the next morning when Billy walked in, red-eyed and his voice slurring. “Holy Crap Lee, what are you doing man?” he shouted.
“Uhh, working. Remember, that’s what we do here,” Lee said. At least he would get to work in ten or twenty minutes. He wasn’t the first to the office each day, but he tried to arrive early so he could check out a couple of blogs before too many people were hanging around to see what he was reading.
“Man, we don’t have to work! We can call in RICH, FOREVER! WE FRICKEN WON, MAN!”
Lee stared, not daring to believe it. He wouldn’t put it past Billy to mess with him. “Yeah, it’s seems to me we’ve won before, three whole bucks a couple of times.”
Two other guys showed up at that moment, and one shouted, “WE DID IT DUDES! WE HIT THE BIG ONE!” They met Billy and they all embraced and shouted something Lee couldn’t understand.
He was too entranced as he looked at his computer monitor to make sense of their shouts. Always leery of any news, he was online, staring at the winning numbers and his copy of the numbers Billy had given him the previous afternoon. It appeared Billy wasn’t jerking his chain after all. They really had won. The numerical evidence was in his left hand, the third line down. ALL THE NUMBERS MATCH. OH GOD, THEY MATCH, WE WON THE STINKING JACKPOT.
Lee had no idea how long he stared at the monitor before he was able to move. And breath normally. When he could function, he opened the realty page and printed the home page with the contact information and the page with his new home’s listing. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and had three numbers punched in before he stopped to think. He didn’t want to make such an important call where those idiots might hear him, and he didn’t want to do it on a trackable phone.
Lee stared at the device pondering, then powered it down and pocketed it. After logging out of the internet he stood and grabbed his jacket.
“Hey man,” Billy said. “Don’t go running off to the lottery office without us. We’re all going together.”
“I’m not. I’ve just gotta go pick something up,” Lee said.
Billy grinned at him and asked, “What, a couple of cans of coffee? I’ve got news for you man, you’re gonna need a lot more than you can carry.”
Lee grinned back. He couldn’t help himself, even though he knew he was grinning like an idiot; like all the office idiots. “Maybe I’m getting a big enough truck to load all the coffee cans in,” he said.
“Hey, now you’re talking man. Four-wheel drive, with all the bells and whistles, right?” Billy asked.
“You’re pretty close,” Lee said, and hurried out the door with the papers clutched tightly.
The 24-hour drug store was close enough he thought he could’ve floated there, but he got in his older, four-wheel drive truck instead. No, he didn’t need a new truck. He’d put too much into getting his put together as a bug out vehicle. It’d had a long list of improvements done which had used up all his disposable income for two years before he had everything just right. There was no way he’d replace it. But who knew, he might get a second vehicle once he was settled.
He swerved around a slow car and nearly ran a red light on the way to the store, but he miraculously arrived unscathed and hurried inside. He made his purchases and hurried back to his truck. With a shaking hand, he used a Sharpie marker to write on the first pre-paid phone he took out of the bag. “Mountain Realty”.
His hand shook even more as he punched in the numbers to the real estate company.
Several minutes later he ended the call and laid his head back. It was done. He’d just committed to the asking price on his dream home. The next call he made with the new burner phone would be to talk routing numbers for two point seven million dollars. It was a huge, unimaginable sum, but as the listing stated, it was the ultimate survivalist compound. One hundred sixty acres nestled away against the National Forest, and a house build to hold up against anything short of a tank.
“Okay, what now?” he asked the empty pickup. When it came to him, he pulled out his personal phone and powered it back up. The dang thing had made it so he didn’t know anyone’s phone numbers anymore. He’d have to get them all written down once he was back at his desk. He scrolled through the names and stopped on one, and punched the numbers into his second burner phone.
The phone rang and went to voice mail. Of course, JB wouldn’t answer an unknown number. Lee left a message for JB to call as soon as he could. It was very important. While he waited for JB to call back, he labeled the phone with the pen.
“Hey dude, sorry I didn’t pick up, but you know with all the spammers out there, I don’t answer any number I don’t recognize,” JB said in greeting.
“Yeah, I know. So I’ve got a favor to ask you buddy, a pretty big favor you’ll be richly compensated for,” Lee said.
“What the hell you talking about? Richly compensated? Dude, you don’t usually have two nickels to rub together with all the prepper stuff you buy,” JB said.
“I know, but I just came into some money,” Lee said.
“What’d you do, knock off an armored truck or something?” JB asked.
“I’ll tell you about it later. I need to bunk with you tonight anyway,” Lee said.
JB didn’t answer right away. When he did, he said, “What the hell did you do dude? New phone, money, don’t want to go home. Did you steal something and someone is looking for you to bust your kneecaps? Or worse?”
“No JB, it’s nothing like that. It’s totally legit. I’ll explain it all later, in person. I don’t want to say too much over the phone. You know these calls are picked up and listened too. But no JB, nobody wants to hurt me, but as soon as a certain story hits the news, people will be crawling out of the woodwork looking for me.”
“I don’t like the sound of this dude,” JB said. “But as the story goes, the guy baling you out might be a good friend, but the one in the cell with you is a better friend. So what do you want me to do?”
“I’m going to have some things shipped in that’ll need signed for and I don’t want it going to my place. I want to ship it all to you and I’ll get it from there,” Lee said.
JB was silent for a long time until Lee asked, “Are you still there?”
“Yeah, I’m here. Tell me one thing, is it drugs?”
“JB, are you kidding me? You know I don’t do drugs. My drug of choice is burning gunpowder with an occasional shot of bourbon. No, I’m going to order some guns and ammo and other preps. I just can’t have them delivered to my place,” Lee said.
“So this is all legit?”
“Damn straight. Tell you what, watch the noon news today. I’ll be shocked if the story I’m expecting isn’t the lead in. Watch it and you’ll understand. And remember, I take care of my real friends. But I’ve got to run. I’ll talk to later, just don’t make me leave a message next time,” Lee said.
“Okay dude, and don’t make me regret it and open the door to a swat team.”
“No worries, later JB,” Lee said and ended the call.
The gears were turning in his head as he drove back to the office. Get the contacts written down. Order that Barrett 50 I’ve been drooling over and . . . By the time his was finished, his mental list included eighteen guns and several thousand rounds of ammunition. It also included printing his lists off once he was back at his desk. He’d need to order food, medical supplies, tools, and the list went on and on as he drove.
Lee sat at his desk in a frenzy as the rest of the crew partied around him. Well, all the crew but Clay. He was even more of an enigma than Lee to the rest of the crew. It looked like he was actually working on a project Jack had committed to having complete that day. What a weirdo.
Someone had brought in bottles of champagne and a couple of the guys were tipsy. “Here Lee, have some,” Billy said, looking over his shoulder and holding the plastic cup out for him. “Whoa, that’s some rifle,” Billy said.
“Do you mind?” Lee asked taking the champagne.
“Just curious man, but that looks like a serious rifle. I think I’ll get one too. What is it?” Billy slurred.
“Tell you what, I’ll print it out for you,” Lee said.
The printer whirred to life and thankfully Billy went to get the paper. He carried it to the group of revelers and held it out. “Hey guys, check out the rifle I’m going to get.”
Lee tried to ignore the group as he placed orders, draining his bank account and maxing out his credit card. Unfortunately, he didn’t have enough for the Barrett or many other things on his list. But he made a paper list as well as a thumb drive file with all the sites he would go onto after he got his money.
His money!
He was a millionaire and would soon disappear. He wondered if Donna would disappear with him. She’d made it pretty clear she wouldn’t, but he was poor then. Would somewhere around seventeen million reasons change her mind? If it wouldn’t, maybe the girl who worked at the gun club would go with him.
“Lee, come on man, we’re going,” Billy called.
“Huh, oh yeah, give me a minute,” Lee said. He stuffed all his papers in his day pack, pocketed his thumb drive, and threw his cell phone in the bottom drawer of his desk.
While he finished up, he noticed Jack was literally forcing Clay to quit working and join them. His bit of respect for the man was diminishing, and he shook he head at the man and echoed what most of the crew called him. “Weirdo.”
Lee pulled on his jacket, chugged the rest of his champagne and joined all his co-workers he’d never see again after he had his check in hand.
#
Lee held up a photo copy of the check he’d taken to the bank for JB to see. “You ever imagined so many numbers on a check?” he asked in greeting when JB answered the door.
“Dude, I can’t believe it!” JB said and pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. “But there you were on TV with a bigger smile than when you hooked up with Laura our junior year.”
“Yeah, it’s incredible. I had to read those numbers over and over before I really believed it. So I wonder, do you have any idea what Laura’s up to now? I haven’t seen her for quite a few years, but maybe she’d like to hook up again now that I’m rich.”
“Ha, forget it dude. For one thing, she’s been pissed since you knocked up her best friend. Besides, she married some farmer guy, Clay I think his name is. She’s got two kids, and I swear, I’ve never seen anyone happier when I saw her last. If you and Donna are really over, I think you might have to hit up that Russian mail order bride site to find the love of your life,” JB said. He poured two glasses of Crown Royal over ice and handed one to Lee. “So what are your plans dude?”
Lee leaned back in the couch and said, “I’m flying to Montana tomorrow. I’ve had my eye on a place there and I’m going to buy it. I’d take you along, but I need you to stay here and sign for my shipments. After I get the main place, I’ll get a smaller one around Bozeman where I can have everything shipped to. After that, do you want to move to Montana?”
JB puzzled over it and said, “Wow dude, I don’t know. Doesn’t it get damn cold in the winter?”
Lee laughed and said, “Not if we mail order two brides.”
JB laughed with him and held his glass up in an “air clink” and took another drink. He got serious and asked, “So seriously dude, what about Donna? And Leeann.”
A dark cloud passed over Lee’s face. “I don’t know. Do you think if I give her half a mill, it’ll keep her off my back?”
“It’s hard to tell dude. Have you kept up child support after the divorce was finalized?” JB asked.
“I’ve only been late a few times, and uhm, well, the divorce isn’t quite final. I don’t know JB, I kind of hoped we might work it out. Shoot, maybe she’ll change her mind and go to Montana with us,” Lee said.
JB kept his thoughts to himself on the matter. Donna had confided to him that even though she loved Lee, he’d gone off the deep end with the survivalist stuff. His obsession had scared her. She was more than happy in suburbia and wanted Leeann to grow up around other kids, not off in some remote mountain fortress where she might see other kids once or twice a year.
“So,” JB said, “How long do you think this Montana trip will take? And what are your plans when it’s all wrapped up?”
“I need to finalize some things here, rent a truck and load everything up, and head out. And well, I guess I need to talk to Donna. If she won’t come with me, maybe I can give her an even million and she won’t bother me for anything else.” Lee drained his glass, refilled it and held the bottle out to refill JB’s as well.
“So can I use your computer JB? I still want to get a bunch of order placed. I ran out of money before I could get anywhere on my list,” Lee said.
“I wish you could dude, but I got hit by one of those ransomware scams. I haven’t been able to use it for a week now, and I’ll be damned if I’ll pay them. I’ve used the library computer to pay bills since then. We can go there,” JB said.
Lee took a big swig while he pondered the idea. “Naw, let’s go to Best Buy. I’m going to need a good laptop with a satellite link anyway.” He emptied his glass in a long swallow and stood and pulled his jacket on.
They climbed into Lee’s truck and headed for the store. The first few blocks, Lee drove only a few miles over the speed limit. “Check it out,” he said, and cranked the radio up. “The perfect song JB, just perfect. As he sang along, the truck’s speed increased and Lee rocked his head back and forth. It was the perfect song.
“It’s the end of the world as we know it.”
He closed his eyes, missing the lowering crossing bar before the railroad tracks.
“LEE, STOP DUDE!”
“It’s the end of the world as we know it.”
Lee cranked the radio louder to drown out JB.
“LEE!”
The train whistled, not letting off and the engineer hit the brakes.
“It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.”
The whistle and loud music were replaced by a thunderous crash and screaming metal.
#
The funeral was small, but lavish, with no expenses spared. A photograph of the “Ultimate Survival Retreat” rested on the closed casket.
Read more: pawfiction.proboards.com/thread/968/millionaire#ixzz5UUehyLxH
