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Post by farmgirl on Jan 27, 2020 23:15:24 GMT
What kind of Dr is Dr Pepper?
A FIZZ-ician! 😂😂😂
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Post by Ozarks Tom on Jan 27, 2020 23:18:58 GMT
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Post by BrewDaddy on Jan 27, 2020 23:21:17 GMT
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. “Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” asked St. Peter.
“Well, I can think of one thing,” the cowboy offered. “On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. So, I approached the largest and most-tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.
I yelled, ‘Now, back off or I’ll kick the snot out of all of you!’”
St. Peter was impressed. “When did this happen?”
“Couple of minutes ago.”
bd
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Post by farmgirl on Jan 27, 2020 23:23:44 GMT
😂😂😂
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Post by daw on Jan 31, 2020 13:42:47 GMT
My Irish Terrier diligently digs holes The hawk catches the moles......
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Post by Txsteader on Feb 14, 2020 9:00:02 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2020 16:21:43 GMT
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a typo."
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Post by BrewDaddy on Feb 21, 2020 16:40:24 GMT
I have a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m sexy.” When I’m feeling down, I just sit at a green light until I feel good about myself.
bd
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Post by paisley on Feb 23, 2020 3:22:47 GMT
BrewDaddy , Inquiring minds want one of those bumper stickers. For real fun go to liberal protest seek out were they pparked and ..... Leave a bumper sticker for TRUMP on some, pro life in some, and climate change is just weather&seasons The fun comes when they return to the parking lot and verbally attack each other!
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Post by Tricky Grama on Feb 23, 2020 18:08:27 GMT
So Biden's in 5th place? He's losing to an 80 year old socialist, a gay soldier, a fake Indian. So the dudes literally getting beat by the Village People.
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Post by BrewDaddy on Feb 25, 2020 16:51:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2020 14:27:06 GMT
Did you know.....
You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.
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Post by Ozarks Tom on Feb 29, 2020 17:56:38 GMT
A sure fire way to find out who loves you the most, your wife or your dog.
Lock them both in trunks of cars, and see which one is happy to see you a half hour later.
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Post by Mari on Feb 29, 2020 18:26:43 GMT
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Post by farmrbrown on Mar 4, 2020 5:01:58 GMT
Mari , Ozarks Tom , Tom's probably heard a version of this one, but when I went to copy/paste there wasn't a "clean" enough version like the way I heard it. So here goes my 2 finger typing....... After a family dinner one night all the men folk were out back telling war stories as the youngest boy listened in awe. When HIS dad's turn came he only mentioned that he'd been a paratrooper in Vietnam. "Gee dad, you mean you jumped out of planes?! Wow! Weren't ya scared?" "Well......um......not exactly. Um...lemme explain the whole story. Ya see, I volunteered so I could pick where I wanted to serve. I've never swam in anything deeper than our pond and being stranded in shark infested waters of the Pacific didn't sound good, so the Navy was out. I also knew the infantry was a quick way to get killed so I figured I'd join the paratroopers. Ride in a plane above it all, float to the ground, get out and do it again a few days later, ya know? I got thru basic training ok and then we loaded up in a plane for our first jump. It wasn't bad until the door opened and saw how far it was to the ground! As the guys jumped one by one, I kept sliding to the back of the line. We had this big ole black bear of a drill sergeant, mean as a snake. He kept eyeballing me as I tried to become invisible. Finally it was just him and me left in the back of the plane and he started yellin at me to jump! This guy was about 6'5", 275 lbs.of solid muscle and I think he hated white boys besides. He prolly just hated everybody but he could scare the stink off a skunk! He grabbed me by the shoulders and threw me towards the open door, but I spread eagled on him and held on for dear life! As strong as he was he couldn't pry me thru that opening and he was getting madder and yellin louder in my ear BOY! I SAID JUMP! GET YOUR ASS OUTTA THIS PLANE BOY! YOU GONNA JUMP I SAID! I just froze and wouldn't move and then he REALLY got mad at me. As he leaned all his weight against the back of me he said.... BOY, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE. YOU ARE GONNA JUMP OUT THIS PLANE. KNOW WHY? CUZ IF YOU DON'T JUMP RIGHT NOW.......I'M GONNA DROP MY DRAWERS........THEN I'M GONNA DROP YOUR DRAWERS. AND IF YOU DON'T JUMP BOY, I'M GONNA PUT ALL MY MANHOOD IN YOU BOY! NOW JUMP!"The little boy's eyes were wide as saucers and his jaw was on the ground as his dad told him his tale. He finally asked, "Well dad, did ya jump?" "Yeah son, a little bit"
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