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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2019 22:42:32 GMT
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.
The joke was busy parking the car.
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Post by Ozarks Tom on Sept 22, 2019 23:55:30 GMT
@pony , One time I walked past the clock/temp display on the stove and it read 375. My faulty mind immediately transposed that to 4:15.
Sometimes I wonder about myself, but nah, I'm normel.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2019 11:25:43 GMT
@pony , One time I walked past to clock/temp display on the stove and it read 375. My faulty mind immediately transposed that to 4:15. Sometimes I wonder about myself, but nah, I'm normel. I'm not normal, and I'm glad of it.
Normal is a setting on the dryer. It's not a very good state for a human.
(I totally cop to being weird, and I'm proud of it.)
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Post by DEKE on Sept 23, 2019 14:38:33 GMT
A mathematician's wife is furious at him when he gets home at 3:00 am.
"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she cries.
"Actually," he responds slyly, "I said I'd be home at a quarter of twelve."
When I just told DW I was going to use this system to explain away one of my late night poker sessions, she found absolutely no humor in the story. Go figger.
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Post by joebill on Sept 24, 2019 1:48:21 GMT
I never got home later than expected, but I used to have sales meetings that lasted past midnight, and after one of them I undressed in the dark, snuggled up to my wife, whispered into her ear... "What time does your old man get home?"
Sounded pretty funny when I came up with the idea, right?...Really, really not funny in practice. I never even THOUGHT about doing THAT again. Could have easily gotten me killed.....Joe
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Post by DEKE on Sept 24, 2019 19:42:02 GMT
Joe, that's sort of like when DW told me she was pregnant. I asked her who did she think the father was.
Wives have no sense of humor. Hrmphhh.
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Post by Thtwudbeme on Sept 24, 2019 22:53:36 GMT
I never got home later than expected, but I used to have sales meetings that lasted past midnight, and after one of them I undressed in the dark, snuggled up to my wife, whispered into her ear... "What time does your old man get home?" Sounded pretty funny when I came up with the idea, right?...Really, really not funny in practice. I never even THOUGHT about doing THAT again. Could have easily gotten me killed.....Joe
Maybe she was just PO'ed that her "Old Man" came home?
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2019 14:14:53 GMT
Joe, that's sort of like when DW told me she was pregnant. I asked her who did she think the father was. Wives have no sense of humor. Hrmphhh. Wives most certainly have a sense of humor. Yours must, because she let you live after that remark.
Now, it would have been very funny if you asked her who she thinks the mother is.
Dude, I have a great sense of humor, but I'd have pulled an Aunt Katie and knocked my late husband upside the head with an iron skillet if he said that to me!
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Post by ceresone on Sept 25, 2019 15:09:33 GMT
If I had been Janet, I would have snuggled back, and whispered, we should have a couple hours.
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Post by BrewDaddy on Sept 25, 2019 16:48:02 GMT
I'll probably burn for this one...............
bd
Attachments:
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Post by DEKE on Sept 25, 2019 17:19:57 GMT
I'll probably burn for this one...............
bd
Isn't that Burgess Meredith? The original Penguin from Batman, Rocky's boxing trainer, and frequent visitor into the Twilight Zone?
RIP 1997.
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Post by BrewDaddy on Sept 25, 2019 17:21:28 GMT
I'll probably burn for this one...............
bd
Isn't that Burgess Meredith? The original Penguin from Batman, Rocky's boxing trainer, and frequent visitor into the Twilight Zone?
RIP 1997.
Yepper....
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Post by Txsteader on Sept 28, 2019 21:32:58 GMT
In case you didn't know, Yoda's last name is Layheehoo.
* * * * * *
Me: Alexa, remind me to go to the gym. Alexa: I have added gin to your shopping list.
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Post by BrewDaddy on Sept 28, 2019 22:24:03 GMT
They are thinking of making a sequel to the movie E.T. featuring his promiscuous sister.... It's going to be called E.Z. bd
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2019 1:19:50 GMT
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